That’s the best way to describe how I am right now.

I’m numb.

I haven’t felt anything for over a month.

My heart hasn’t really been stirred for over a month.

Sure, there have been times that I have laughed, and smiled, and simply enjoyed life.

But for the most part, nothing.

I’m struggling.

I’m struggling with something, but I cannot, for the life of me, put my finger on what it is.

It doesn’t really make since.

I’m not depressed, I choose joy daily, I seek the Lord, and I know that He is there, yet I feel…nothing.

Nothing really penetrates into my skin.

Nothing really makes my heart become wonderfully aware.

And I don’t know why.

But that’s how it is.

And I don’t really like it, but I don’t know what to do about it.

So for now, I’ll just stay numb.

And I’ll struggle, with whatever it is.

And I’ll take comfort in the reality that I have a Savior who struggled too.

He knows what’s going on.

So for now, I’ll do the only thing I can.

I will trust.

How have you been feeling lately?


5 thoughts on “Numbness.

  1. Go to nearest IMAX and watch Titanic in 3D. Amazing!

    “Emptiness” is NOT a good thing. It can lead to suicide attempts. Please try to put a finger on the source of your feelings of emptiness. At all costs, dump your preconceived notions of what/where you “should” be at this time in your life. “Should”s can really mess you up.

    I feel your pain.


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