A Response, and Why I LOVE Being Single


So, I definitely had this post [or rather, one similar to it] scheduled to go out at 12:07 today. However, I received an email at 9:43 this morning, and it warrants a reply.

Earlier today I posted a Facebook status that read, “Happy singles awareness day y’all! [This status ain’t bitter]” and a Tweet that read, “Happy singles awareness day y’all! #thistweetaintbitter”

The email I received said,

“Please girl, you’re more bitter than a crab apple. Only bitter people would post to BOTH their Facebook and Twitter accounts about today being ‘singles awareness day.’ Honey, you’re mad that you’re single, AND THAT’S OKAY! Stop saying you ‘ain’t bitter’ and admit that you are! Nothing’s wrong with wanting some chocolate and a rose on VALENTINES DAY (as it’s PROPERLY termed)! So get over yourself, don’t lie to the social media world that you are not bitter when in fact you are. If there’s one thing you should learn from this act of immaturity, it is that you are not ready to have a boyfriend, because you have to be willing to give things up and change in order to get one of them, and apparently you are not willing to give up your bitterness. You must have been hurt really badly by some boy in high school, because honestly from your status and tweet, it’s almost like you are a high schooler…

Love,

Anonymous (just here to put your day into perspective!)”

First off, I would like everyone to know that I am not angry about this email at all. In fact, when I read it after class, I laughed quite hard. The funny thing to me was that I was going to explain those two posts in this here blog post. I’m still going to do that, except I am going to answer a few accusations that were made about me through this email.

Obviously, this individual whose desire is to “put my day into perspective” knows me. If they read both my Facebook status, and tweet, then I have met them at some point in my life [the only “friends” I have on Facebook are people I know in some degree, a general rule is that I’ve shaken their hand before] Anyways, that’s not really that important, I just wanted to point that out.

Something else, I really don’t understand how this person thought I was bitter from these posts. I clearly said “This status ain’t bitter” and “#thistweetaintbitter” so that people would know that I am only having fun with terming Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day.” I really am not bitter. In fact, I am overjoyed that I am single right now. My life is so confusing for myself as is, that I would hate to have the pressure of a boy in my life right now. Anyways, more on that in a moment.

I have to say, I agree with this individual that I am too immature for a boyfriend right now, because I think I am. A relationship is a huge commitment, and well, quite honestly [because I want to be mature] I don’t want to give my heart away and get hurt by any and everyone because I don’t protect my heart or use judgment when getting into a relationship. However, something I do not agree with this person on is that “you have to be willing to give things up and change in order to get one of them.” Honestly, and maybe this is just me being naïve, but I don’t think you should have to give things up or change when it comes to getting into a relationship. I mean, you are who you are. So should you really try and give things up and change who you are because you want to be perceived as someone else or someone that you’re not? I would willingly give up my time, and weekends in order to get to know someone…however, I don’t think I need to give things up, especially in the dating part of a relationship. That’s why you date, to get to know those things about the other person, so you can see if you can live with those things about a person that you might not like.

One last thing I want to address, I was not, and never have been hurt badly by any guy in my life. I have never dated anyone before, in fact I have never been on a date [except a blind date that was organized by my school]. I grew up with three brothers, and have an amazing dad, and frankly my track record with men is wonderful.

Okay, so my original thoughts on Valentines day is coming, don’t worry. I just want everyone to know that I have emailed this individual back, and explained that I would be addressing this on my blog. Thus far, they have not responded back to my email.

{Here’s my original post}

Well, everyone, here it is, the reasons why I LOVE being single:

(1) I don’t have to take anyone else into consideration if I want to do something crazy and adventurous! I can decide that I want to drive to D.C. for spring break, and I don’t have to worry about anyone else being concerned.

(2) I HAVE SO MUCH TIME TO DO WHATEVER I WANT! As a Christian, I love having time to simply study the word, and really dive into it. There is no other time in my life that I will have this opportunity again. I enjoy having my weekends and not having to hang out with certain people [or a certain person] all the time. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to, and not have to worry about someone else’s opinions.

(3) I am learning contentment with whatever situation I find myself in. In high school I used to long for a relationship, and since I never had one I struggled with my self image, thinking I had a “reflect every guy on the planet” radar around me. However, my senior year, when I actually started caring about who the Lord was in my life, He began revealing who I was according to Him which is way better than who I thought I was according to me.

(4) I can pursue my dreams. Honestly, the idea of getting into a realationship is kind of daunting, because I have a lot of things I want to do with my life [like lead a team to South America and help out the community in ways the Lord has revealed to my heart.] Being in a relationship, serious or not, would greatly hinder that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am seeking the Lords will in my every day life, so if I meet someone and we get married, and we move wherever he gets a job, great! But for some reason, I don’t think that’s going to be happening all that soon…

(5) This is the last point I am going to make. I love being single because I am discovering that I already have the most amazing Man in my life. His name is Jesus, and I just have to say, He’s AWESOME! Something that makes me so full of joy about being single right now is that I am discovering my identy in Him, not in what this world says, or about what some guy thinks of me. No, my strength, love, and identification comes directly from my Savior and Lord.

So today, even as I joke about Valentine’s Day really being “Singles Awareness Day” [if you read my Facebook status, or Tweet earlier, or know me at all, you’ll understand the humor of this] I hope you realize that singleness is a gift, one that you shouldn’t waste. You will never get your single days back, and as Trace Adkins puts it, “you’re gonna miss this, you’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days, hadn’t gone by so fast.”

So enjoy your singleness. Enjoy where you are NOW. Don’t dwell on the past, or long for the future. Be here. Be present. Discover who the Lord has called you to be, and chase after Him and that promise.

Love y’all, and happy singles awareness day ;)

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